I Have My Father's Love

When I take off runnin to flee my hurtin heart

His love follows my passing, Flowin near, forever, far

Behind, before, no distance, going over and above

If I am or am not asking, I have my Father’s love.

Danette

Spring 2022

I survived the first Christmas...

 Everybody journeys the road of loss uniquely.  It is impacted, influenced, yanked about by their relationship with the person they've lost, the circumstances of the death, the age, the role of the deceased in their life, whether it was traumatic, sudden, or the end of a long life or a long sickness...and the list goes on.

I lost Megan within a year of the end of our family unit of 26 years.  We grief-speaking people call this compounded grief.  Divorce is painful at any time and all the humans impacted in that family unit deal with their hurt, anger, or sorrow differently.  My family unit reeled and we were trying to steady ourselves to go forward in the new normal after split families.  

Megan left us in the middle of the reeling and rocking.  If God had not given me a specific vision, my story may have gone differently.  It is such a profoundly God given word and vision in my heart and mind that I can not explain it with clarity.  I can tell you that within about a day of her passing I had a loving and positive confirmation that all was well.  I call it a vision because I honestly can't remember if it was a dream from sleep or if it became part of my subconcious like a vision.  I can tell you what she said and where we were walking and were about to enter.  It wasn't creepy like she "came" to me.  It was a gift of my viewing a visit with her as it viewing a dream or vision.  As I watched or saw the visit between us, immediate peace and comfort came to me.  

I have held this close to my heart and shared with very few people.  Yet,  at 11 plus years from Megan's passing, I want to share more of the inner road of grief.  I understand that many questions remain for most of us grievers and most especially for those who lose someone earlier in life than is expected.  And, questions do remain for me.  Those will be delved into with other posts.  But, I believe that God will bring us unique comfort if we are willing to see it or feel it.  

Prayers in this season as you celebrate and cry.  Remember, it is okay to enjoy some love and find a little happy when possible.  It makes the darkness not so dark.  And, begins your feet down the path to survival and eventually healing.  I share love with someone that is far away and I can't express it to them now.  So, I share my heart and offer you love from My Father.  He came for the suffering.  Christmas is for us.

Lay it Down

 

 Ch:   Come and lay it down

At my feet, Just turn around

Will you surrender and follow me?

Come and lay it down.

 

V.1   Dark shadows of shame

Let me take your blame

No weight is too great

It’s never too late to...

 

Ch:   Come and lay it down

At my feet, Just turn around

Will you surrender and follow me?

Come and lay it down.

 

V.2   Sad disasters, mistakes

Shattered heart aches

No loss is too great

So why do you wait to...

 

Ch.   Come and lay it down

At my feet, Just turn around

Will you surrender and follow me?

Come and lay it down.

Aug 2021

Danette Hollingsworth

Raw

Cold reigns with no thaw

Wounds ache in the raw

The breath that I need

Comes thin as a reed

No sound comes out

While my insides shout

Left alone too long

 Now weak once strong

Pushed into the air

Care falls to despair

Thoughts too hard to think

A cup I can't drink

Where are you I cried

I'm too empty inside

This doubt is too full

Fear begins its dark pull

This need I can't fill

The empty's too real

Bring shade til I'm done

With these trips 'round the sun

We Are Here

 We are here

Where His kingdom’s come down

We are His

The lost He has found

It’s our joy to be in His presence

We’re his desired and He has led us 

Here!

Repeat chorus:  We are here

Verse:

If You’re weary, He’s your rest

Come to His table   You will be blessed

He’ll walk beside you (Let Him) be your shade

Our Father’s faithful    Don’t be afraid

Verse:

We’re the reason    He came down

Took on our sorrow     That thorny crown

 Made us His people   (His blood) cleansed our sin

Our God is dwelling    With us ‘til the end

New Life Experience

                    New Life Experience

Had a new life experience at the graveyard

I prayed and was set free from death

Had a new life experience at the graveyard

The grave clothes fell off as I wept

Only dead people live in the graveyard

The living should never homestead

April 24, 2021 posted

Verse1 

I cried to the One who gave life to me

My heart is too broken There isn’t a beat

I can’t see my way out of this place

Lord, breathe on me or just dig me a grave!

Written in 2021

Verse 2

Shake off the rattle, Knock off the sting

Kneel in surrender to life with the King

He’ll throw a party, Angels will dance

He has you a new robe, A new circumstance!

Written 3/23/22

The Red Brick Church Built Me

The Red Brick Church that Built Me

If pianos can play, surely there’s a choir to sing

Jesus Hold My hand ‘til Heaven’s Jubilee

 When we can all meet up yonder

Cause some of us have folks to see!

Sunday School and Children’s church with

Sword drills, Specials, Lessons

And Sister Lucy on grand piano

For the Penny March procession

Sister Garsee sang of the Goodness of Jesus

And Bro. CJ strolled over heaven

Bro. Mac and the youth in the upper room

Brought the fire down right about seven.

From rapture drills to victory marches 

Waving flags around  Felix’s recorder

From Jerusalem To Judea and the Uttermost

We’d send up praises over and over

Bro. Bennett trending from his chair 

Off-side for Bible Study Wednesday

Led us to worship, sing, and testify

In the Spirit on Saturday AND Sunday.

Bro. Otis’ orchestra and Sister Catherine’s choir

Were part of every dream

Pick your instrument, Sing your part

And, join the street-service team

We all got saved, and slept on pews

Some with curlers in their hair 

We sang first solos, Walked through prayer lines,

Learned to bend our knees in prayer

A changing of the guard, Bro.Hennigan came

This old church of Higher Ground

Still housed our children, Welcomed us home

When fire sent us back around

The pictures may fade but the Spirit lives on

Binding our hearts as one

Until one day it won’t be a drill 

And we’re finally all gathered home

Daryl

 Did you know him?

I did.  

He was that kind of real friend 

Who told you big

Loved you even bigger

And inspired loyalty 

Because he practiced it as a virtue.

Do you have stories with him?

I do.

Rowdy, funny stories 

Split your belly laughing

Tell it over and over stories

Because he carried adventure with him.

Did you talk about your faith with him?

I always did.

He loved Our Father 

And had great faith 

Believed in heaven

And loved to sing praise

Did he love your family?

He did mine.

He joined us years ago

Adopted some of us 

More than others

But loved us everyone.

Do you miss him?

Yes, me too.

So much to feel

But we won't fill 

His spot

Never. 

Ode to 2020

 

The year was 2020

And there were kicks a plenty

Like one Friday we dismissed class

And none returned but still they passed

 

Each daily news briefing was quite a show

From Fauci to Trump to the whole press row

Somehow the news was so wildly spun

'til you wondered if you’d watched the same one

 

Now stores have their own tale to tell

Like some items weren’t there to sell

Toilet paper that seemed to disappear

And the search for Lysol from far to near

 

We coined new terms like social distance

And wore masks to aid in Covid resistance

We supplemented Zinc, and C, and D

And production lines rushed more PPE

 

We had shut- downs and folks shut in

Take out your food And Less Dine-in

Skip a pew at church, just wave at a friend 

Or In virtual church, praise him and comment

 

Love your neighbor, Limit your guests

Don’t worry the government knows best

And if you’re not essential, stay home and don’t work

All businesses are closed Owners need not go berserk

A cop stole the air from a man on the street

And the nation was awakened, stirred quite justly

Crying for fairness and equity of race

But there’s no easy reset to this pace

 

Some want to defund the police force

And others want to rewrite history’s course

But until we can all love, trust, and listen,

I fear there won’t be a cure for man’s condition

 

Hurricanes hit the land of the south

Twisted the trees, Ripped the roof off the house

Glass was shattered, Frames were bent

We still wonder where some things went

 

Weeks with no power, television, or cooking

Just sounds of generators, saws, and roofing

Trash stacked in ditches, Long logs in the yards,

Everybody knows recovery is hard

 

What we didn’t lose to Covid, or to Hurricane Laura

May have left with Delta, or may not make it thru tomorr-ah

Only time will tell and only God can heal

But there’s no doubt 2020 was real.

 

The last kick of the year was the corrupt election

America’s not a girl with a pure reputation

And, Politics is a swamp and a temple of doom

Until God’s people pray and re-enter the room.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

MASKS

Multiple faces
Acting as a
Shield to prevent
Knowledge of the Real
Self

Warmth

Put aside differences

Put aside hate and fear

Take time to smile, hug

Even shed a tear

With all human kind

Who have rocked your world

And all the others

With lives whirled

Upside down by storms

Crisscrossed by pain

Until there's nothing

Left save gain.

Holidays deeply grieve

As well as highly lift

The soul of men

As we celebrate THE GIFT

So behold every face

Through the twinkle of grace

Leave your warmth

In the dark, coldest place

Danette

Bethlehem

 

Verse

Bethlehem, a tiny place

So filled with the human race

That they could not see the face

Of the Baby bringing saving grace

His purpose was to save all men

And lead them to be born again

Yet when He came that blessed night

No hungry souls did he find in

Chorus

Bethlehem, House of Bread

Place where my soul is fed

Lord help me see Your face

As I sit here in this holy place

Don’t let me lose sincerity

Lose sight of reality

In Bethlehem, House of Bread

Verse

We’re so busy here below

We forget this blessed truth we know

We’ve become accustomed to the scene

Of all who say they’ve been redeemed

Could it be that if He came

Today would softly call your name

That you with all your hurried ways

Could hear and recognize this place as

Wanted

 One soul wanted 

One heart too

One love wanted

For the lonely blue

Just to hold my hand 

And to be the one 

That will hold  my heart 

'til the living's done 

Not for fancy things 

Not just for show

Not for blazing trails 

Just you to know

So, just hold my hand 

And you’ll be the one 

That has my heart 

til the livings done 

                                                          Has Been

Verse   

 The thought of what has been     

Trickles down her cheeks, her chin

She can’t see what will be

And it leaves her wanting more     

Hungry for what was before

Chorus

She’s been where love has been

felt its whirl, its shake and spin

She knows the real, the deal, the feel

So, if that is what has been

Let her heart remember when

She feels she’s just a has-been.

Verse   

Like a circus come to church            

Or a window’s smoky smirch

She can’t believe for what will be

And it leaves her wanting more         

Hunger she has felt before

 Bridge   

Hurt has been bound to take ahold of me

And my heart has been locked down

To keep my heart hurt-free

Chorus

I’ve been where love has been

Felt the whirl, the shake, the spin

Known the real, the deal, the feel

Of all that I have been

So, let my heart remember when

I feel like I’m a has-been

Memories to Keep

v.

The dress covered in lace

Pretty smile on her face

A veil cascades off her head

Loving vows she has said

All their songs being sung

Ah, their love is so young

 

Ch

She’s making memories to keep

For long after they’re gone

 

Got a life time to fill

Lots of dreams to make real

 

Making memories to keep

For the words to their song

 

And her heart gives a leap

She says Momma don’t weep

We’re making memories to keep

 

v.

Treasure box opened wide

It can no longer hide

That lace dress on the floor

She can’t smile anymore

Many unkind words said

Now, their love has gone dead

 

Ch. 2

No more memories to keep

For long after they’re gone

 

There’s no life left to fill

All this pain is too real

 

No more memories to keep

There’s no tune for their song

 

No, her heart doesn’t leap

She and Momma weep

Cuz There’re no more memories to keep.

 

 

 

 

TAG

Yeah the dress, the song,

The love won’t live on

Pretty pictures fade as memories do

 

But the girl with the smile

Dreams all the while

Happy days will all come true

 

 

Ch 3

 

She wants memories to keep

For long after they’re gone

 

She has life left to fill

When her dream becomes real

 

Wanting  memories to keep

Gonna sing a new song

 

Ah, her heart plans to leap

No more tears will she weep

Waiting for memories to keep.

 

 

 

 

Paint My Heart

 

If I could, I’d paint my heart as gray

After life has had its way

Because every now and then

The pain will still set in

If I could paint my heart today

I’d paint it all away.

 

If I could, I’d paint my heart so blue,

Yes, My heart’s still missing you

Because many’s the time when

A song will make me bend

If I could paint my heart today

I’d paint it all away

 

(I’d) Bring the brush back to the canvas

Spill the light your life had shone

Spin bright colors from your song

Stroke the paint across the canvas

Spread the kindness from your heart

Let your joy spread through the art

If I could paint my heart today,

This pain, It could not stay

I’d paint it all away.

Prayer to Our Father for America

My Dear Father in the heaven above,

Reveal who you are…Healer, Redeemer, Peace-Speaker, The Word, The Beginning and the End, and You are Holy.

Set the world right, and most especially America because she is in a terrible battle and evil is running wild in her streets

And only You know what’s best, So, do what is best—as above, so below.

Keep us alive with food for our stomachs and Your Spirit in our hearts

Keep us forgiven as we repent to You, and keep us forgiving others…We are weak and arrogant, and have trouble with this part of the prayer, Lord.

Keep us safe from ourselves and the devil. He’s busy because his days are short so we rely on You more than ever before.

But YOU’RE in charge! YOU can do anything you want!  We pray that you want to show mercy to us!

I thank You. You are the King and power and glory are yours forever.

Amen

Based on The Lord’s Prayer

The Message and NIV

Danette

Fear

Fear

Fear is a noun.  The dictionary coins it as an aroused distressing emotion.  The feeling can be brought on by real or imagined impending danger, evil, pain, etc. 

Today, my question is... How do Americans register fear?  Is it from a real threat that citizens recognize as looming over them?  Or, do we simply believe every twisted fact, imagined notion, and pondered possibility that is presented by the multimedia world in which we live?  

This week I have had available time to watch a news conference.  It informed and explained the steps being taken and being considered in the Invisible War with corona virus. Science, business, diplomacy, law enforcement, and politics were working hand in hand.  

Since I rarely see news conferences, a few reporters' questions were astounding to me.  I paraphrase, but one gentleman asked the president of the United States...how are you helping to keep Americans from being afraid?  Obviously, the entire conference had been built around informing Americans who should then synthesize the facts to understand the many things being done to keep them alive and safe.

Without a doubt no one wants to die in a pandemic.  We will need to assure one another within friendships and family bonds.  Our children will question and need role models of strength, practicality, and responsibility.   Stay home, practice social distancing, and other scientifically suggested practices.  Yes, there will be some fear.

Yet, has America come to this? Do Americans need a leader to say "Now, don't be afraid because we have plans that are going to save your life"?  Did American presidents speak soothing and calming words to Americans when World Wars raged?  It is my understanding from history that men and women stepped up and over fear to defeat the enemy.  I didn't live then but my perspective is that a strong, brave, and united front appeared.  Fear was a thing to beat in the eyes of Americans. 

We can compare the past and present, and ponder the future.   I plan to continue forming my own fact-based opinions from my own perspective.  I do not need a reporter to infer and spin the news to influence me.  I am an American.  I see fear and I react sensibly and responsibly in its face. I do not need a watered down version of America.  God Bless the USA.  

Seven seems to be a profound number for me.  Not certain of the why but am certain of its weight in my psyche.
In a few days, my girl, my brilliantly illuminated daughter,  will have been gone 7 years.


She walked with others, quietly listening.  She dressed the room with effortless grace.
Her spirit sang across the room, the car, the stage, a field...and always with perfect cadence.

Never too loud, sometimes so quiet that if you weren't attentive you'd miss what might
Be your time to laugh, to be loved, to be touched or moved with her bright
smile touching your face.


And, oh, that face. Beauty...that only comes from within met her beautiful face.  Beauty throughout and within gave her such depth.  Impossible to define or explain.

Sweet little girl of mine...Mom misses you.

the brown better

The ground's no longer brown
It's covered with green
When we laid you there
All was ugly and mean

Months passed us by
Yet time didn't matter
Leaving you alone
Left my heart shattered

Now it still isn't easy
And will never
But, grass knows how gently
To make the brown better